“Life moves pretty fast.
If you don’t stop and look around once and a while, you could miss it.” ~ Ferris Bueller

My youngest daughter was making little Valentine cards for her 8th grade class last night and it suddenly hit me that she is starting high school in only 6 months. Do they even do Valentine cards in high school? Is this it? The last time I buy a bag of lollipops so she can scotch tape them to the cards for her classmates? I’m a little overcome with how fleeting all this is. My older daughter is turning 25 this year! Where did all the time go?

I was in 8th grade in 1989. And all I cared about was movies, music, and the fact that very soon I could wear jeans to school and not the Catholic plaid!

Continuing in the vein of looking back to the 80s – back in 1986 Madonna, a pop artist, released a song called, “Papa Don’t Preach”. It was in fact a very obviously pro-life song. The attitude at the time, despite it being difficult, was that the young lady in the song did in fact want her unborn child.

“He says that he’s going to marry me, And we can raise a little family, Maybe we’ll be all right. It’s a sacrifice – But my friends keep telling me to give it up – Saying I’m too young, I oughta live it up – What I need right now is some good advice, please – I made up my mind, I’m keeping my baby.”

Wow, ok. Cool. Hard yes. Uncertain. Yes. Scary. Yes. Doable. Yes.

Fast forward to 2023. A song called “Swine” is released by pop artist Demi Lovato.

“I wanna **** whoever I want – I don’t know a thing, the government knows my body – No, it’s okay, it’s better this way, I’m only a carbon copy. My life, my voice, my rights, my choice, It’s mine.”

Mine, mine, mine. The age of self-worship.

Now I know what you may be thinking. Madonna is by no means the poster child of moral and chaste living but putting that aside this particular hit song faced unplanned pregnancy head on in spite of the changes and hardships to come to her life.The other girl, Lovato, on the other hand glorified her own depravity, fear, and loneliness. She devalues her own peers and the beauty, accomplishments, and resilience of women.

“Under compensated, too domesticated, under estimated, over regulated, under celebrated, hated dominated,”.

Say something enough times and you start to believe it’s the truth. 

The line in Madonna’s song, “Maybe we’ll be all right –  It’s a sacrifice,” is pretty key to the shift in how young women think of themselves and of motherhood. 

Here at Next Step we are trying to change hearts and minds. And one of those ways is inviting young women and girls to take a different look at themselves and at what makes them unique and worth it. This year I started taking classes towards becoming a certified FEMM instructor. FEMM is Fertility Education and Medical Management. https://femmhealth.org/

It’s been an interesting journey. Doing homework again at my age has not been as “fun” but the things I’m learning are truly game changing. As a mother with daughters and as a woman myself – these lessons are invaluable. 

“Young women who know their bodies and track their cycles are TWICE as likely to remain abstinent than their body illiterate peers,” (How Body Literacy and Fertility Awareness Protect Futures, Katie Vidmar).

“We have found that it takes three cycles on average for girls to own their fertility. One of the process steps is that when they come to know their cycle, and the length of their luteal phase, they will know exactly when to expect their period. When that happens their body is talking to them and they are in charge. At that time they often move easily from peer pressure to making their own decisions, they move away from group pressure if the group proposes something they disagree with.” (Cycle mindfulness: What happens when you teach fertility awareness to teen girls, 08/08/2020, Anna Migeon)

Imagine believing that you and your body were created for something great. That you are cherished and in this world on purpose, for a purpose. That’s just one of the many things we hope to impart to our clients. Thank you for supporting our work. Have a lovely Valentine’s Day.

~ Heather Vasquez

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