“The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.”― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
The desire to suppress ovulation because it is believed to hinder potential and the ability to do so equals sovereignty over one’s body is nothing short of a lie. But it’s a lie that many young women believe. In fact 25% of women aged 15-29 use some form of birth control. When I researched some reasons for this I found a very similar theme throughout. Aside from pregnancy prevention and relief from period pain and irregularity the common thread was jurisdiction over readiness to start a family and the desire to be unencumbered.
To be free to enjoy the act while being free of any potential consequences. Command over your future and your body. I need to add that, for some, the pain and stress that accompany a cycle is very real – but how about we address the underlying cause rather than throw a pill at it?
But does open access to birth control really correspond to freedom? Or is it simply an illusion?
I recently found and started following a person on X that, in my estimation, has a brilliant grasp on the truths of women, feminism, and motherhood. I try not to spend much time ‘scrolling’ but wow, I could not get enough of this person’s words. They just brought so much clarity to so much of what I believe and what I see each day at Next Step Pregnancy Services.
She’s called “The Feminist Turned Housewife” and can be found under @turnedwife
This was something I found recently and it really sparked my interest because of our foray into FEMM (Fertility Education and Medical Management). I am more than halfway through the course and preparing for the exam to become a Certified FEMM instructor. The experience has been many things. Eye-opening, challenging and impressive.
Especially as a mother to two daughters the things I have learned about ovulation, about hormones, about ordo amoris – Latin for “order of love” or “rightly ordered loves” – and so much more! About the perfect structure of the female body and the precise and beautiful system He created to bring about new life. Not something to be suppressed, avoided, and dreaded.
Here is what @turnedwife said about birth control and her words could not have been more fitting.
Before birth control, women had more power. Modern culture calls it “liberation,” but the truth is more complicated. Birth control didn’t free women. It weakened their leverage. The irony? Before reliable contraception, women controlled access to sex by controlling the terms:
– Courtship
– Commitment
– Marriage
– Family
Men had to prove themselves worthy, financially, morally, socially, before being granted access. Women had bargaining power. The introduction of easy contraception changed everything. Now, sex could happen without marriage. Without promises. Without investment. And when sex became cheap, women became cheapened. Their primary social power, over reproduction, over family – collapsed. Look at the data:
– Marriage rates fell.
– Divorce rates skyrocketed.
– Out-of-wedlock births exploded.
– Men’s incentives to commit plummeted.
Why commit when intimacy became freely available, no strings attached? It’s no accident that “hookup culture” emerged alongside mass birth control use. The “freedom” promised wasn’t freedom to build something lasting. It was freedom to be used, and discarded. And women paid the highest price. Women were sold a lie: That they could live like men without consequences. But biologically, socially, emotionally – women are not men. And trying to live as if they are has only made them lonelier, more anxious, and more heartbroken. The irony?
Birth control didn’t “level the playing field.” It made the field brutal. It turned natural protectors into casual users. It turned natural nurturers into detached competitors. And it left everyone more miserable. If you want to empower women again, you don’t start by handing out more pills.
You start by rebuilding the structures – marriage, family, modesty, loyalty – that once gave women true dignity and leverage. That is real empowerment.
Our daughters deserve more. And above all they deserve to be honored, cherished, and celebrated for the beauty, resilience, and gifts they bring. That is and will always be something we believe and offer to the women and girls that visit us here at Next Step Pregnancy Services.
In Christ, Heather M Vasquez
P.S. Yes I am taking this quick opportunity to let you know that it’s that time again! Save the Dates will be in the mail soon for our annual celebration which will be held on Saturday September 20th at Holy Rosary in Edmonds. I truly hope you can join us.
