“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

This month has been full of life altering images, events, failures, and victories. I would like to focus on but two of them – both extraordinary in their power and predicament.

On August 15^th, after months of violence as the Taliban virtually overran all of Afghanistan, they entered the Capital city of Kabul and expeditiously ousted the Afghan government, and the sitting President fled the city. Nine days after seizing the Capital they took over simply and completely.

Thousands of people, families, fled to the Kabul airport in hopes of escaping what they knew may be terror, violence, and death. And as of today, there are still many and more still stranded with no hopes of rescue. The despair for themselves and their families must be horrific. The helplessness is unimaginable.

“Women in Afghanistan face rising levels of domestic violence, abuse, and exploitation.” In the past the Taliban “barred women from working outside the home or leaving the house without a male guardian, eliminated schooling for girls and publicly flogged those who violated the group’s morality code”, women and girls are rightly feeling scared, isolated, and uncertain of their fate. (Farnaz Fassihi, 2021, Taliban Take Over in Afghanistan, New York Times,)

The freedoms women (like myself) enjoy and expect each day remind us that we are free and blessed beyond measure. Our hearts go out to those women, mothers, daughters, sisters, wives – whose future is so uncertain. Prayer for their safety and prayer for an end to the many injustices our sisters far away in another place face each day.

On September 1^st, 2021 “the U.S. Supreme Court formally denied the abortion lobby’s request to block the Texas Heartbeat Act Wednesday evening, voting 5-4 to let the historic law take effect”. (Calvin Frieburger, 2021, LifeSiteNews.com)

The Heartbeat Law, signed into effect in May by Gov. Abbott of Texas requires abortionists to screen for a preborn baby’s heartbeat and prohibits abortion if a heartbeat can be heard (generally as early as six weeks), with exceptions only for medical emergencies.

This is HUGE! A HUGE victory for the innocent lives lost because of an abortion. There is still a lot of movement expected in the Judicial system however this unprecedented ruling may not be a ruling “on the merits of the Texas Heartbeat Act, many pro-lifers have taken the majority’s willingness to let the law stand even temporarily as an encouraging sign.”

And it is that – an encouraging sign. A sign that hearts and minds are changing. That the fact that the act of abortion takes the life of a living breathing human being with a heartbeat is beyond dispute. And the hope is that sometime perhaps in the near future the sanctity of all human life – born and unborn, man and woman, American or Afghan, will be beyond contention and protected.

The future is indeed unknown, for all of us in truth. But trusting our future to Him  and stepping forth to protect those who cannot protect themselves, standing firmly in the light of truth is what He asks of us – scary and uncertain as it may feel at times. His power is known.

Dear Friends of Next Step,

I would like to touch on something that I think we can all agree has become quite a tool for evil, especially in recent months with so many people relegated to living life behind their phones and laptops. Social Media – it is like a bucket of beautiful shiny red apples – but as you sift through you realize that was only the top layer and the rest is rotten.

Earlier this week I received an email recommending I create a Next Step Pregnancy Services business page for the Next Door application, which is an application for neighbors and neighborhoods to connect on local events, issues, buying and selling things and the like; the app gets a lot of traffic I’ll say. It sounded like a sound idea to get the word out about Next Step and our services, so I created a page with our services, our mission, and our location and contact info.

Not ten minutes later I got a notification of a comment, and then another one, and another. It went on all day. The comments were centered primarily on pregnancy care centers as a whole and why these few people believe pregnancy centers are anti woman, deceiving women into coming in, working without medical regulations or medical personnel, withholding contraception, pushing religious agendas, and the list goes on and on…. There were even comments about what Next Step’s stance was on Referendum 90 and sex education courses and ended with an invite from one neighbor to another to join “Catholics for Choice.”

As you can imagine I was fairly blown away by the viciousness and negativity. You would think I would not have been given Facebook and Twitter and the like spewed out there, but I guess I just thought – it is a business listing for our services, end of. To make a long story short, I did answer the legitimate questions about Next Step Pregnancy’s services, confirmed we are a pro-life organization, confirmed we do indeed have licensed medical professionals to boot. And I thanked the few people who chimed in in our defense. Thankfully there were a few.

I contemplated removing the business site from Next Door but in the end decided against it. Next Step Pregnancy Services is a beautiful, compassionate, and life-saving place that puts the health and well-being of families, including the precious unborn – first. And we will not back down, we will not be silent about the sanctity of all life, and we will not be cowed into compromising our faith. We are pro-woman. A woman is more than capable enough to be a mother, planned or unplanned. Make no mistake, this is a battle. We can do it.

“He has chosen us out of the world.”

“The woman’s soul is fashioned as a shelter in which other souls may unfold.”

~ St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

Pope John Paul II once described women’s unique capabilities as “feminine genius”.  In his beautiful “Letter to Women” written from the Vatican in 1995 before he addressed the Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing, he went on to describe women as “having a particular and special sensitivity to the human person”.

Further he said, “A woman is strong because of the fact that God has entrusted the human being to her. It is this awareness of this entrusting that makes her strong.”

From the Vatican, 29 June 1995, the Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul.

What a beautifully true sentiment. Women are strong. Women are resilient. Women are capable and always have been. The modern women do not seem to comprehend her own worth. Her own value and capacity for fulfillment and achievement. It is there. And has been.

“I do not wish to give (women) a first place, still less a second one- but the complete freedom to take their true place, whatever it may be.” ~ Elizabeth Blackwell

Pioneers of women’s rights knew it and fought for it. They shine a light to the world about what women could accomplish and should be recognized as. Fully functioning equals. Integral, valuable, resilient and full of promise.

It seems today a lot of what is churned out in the name of feminism is contrived, stony, and intolerant. Independence is pushed at the cost of connection. Self-sufficiency at the cost of nurturing. Toughness is encouraged as a replacement for tenderness. To terminate a child held in the womb is decreed a right.

No! This is a serious distortion on womanhood, and we all suffer as a result.

Again in the words of Blessed John Paul II, “the face of women the reflection of a beauty which mirrors the loftiest sentiments of which the human heart is capable: the self-offering totality of love; the strength that is capable of bearing the greatest sorrows; limitless fidelity and tireless devotion to work; the ability to combine penetrating intuition with words of support and encouragement. — Blessed John Paul II Redemptoris Mater (46)

There is a right time for everything:

² A time to be born; A time to die; A time to plant; A time to harvest;
³ A time to kill; A time to heal; A time to destroy; A time to rebuild;
⁴ A time to cry; A time to laugh; A time to grieve; A time to dance;
⁵ A time for scattering stones; A time for gathering stones; A time to hug;
A time not to hug;
⁶ A time to find; A time to lose; A time for keeping; A time for throwing away;
⁷ A time to tear; A time to repair; A time to be quiet; A time to speak up;
⁸ A time for loving; A time for hating; A time for war; A time for peace.

⁹ What does one really get from hard work? ¹⁰ I have thought about this in connection with all the various kinds of work God has given to mankind. ¹¹ Everything is appropriate in its own time. But though God has planted eternity in the hearts of men, even so, many cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 (TLB)

What does a day in the life of a pregnancy services center look like right now? We all know that every day things are changing. For good or bad the sun continues to rise each morning and continues to set each evening. What is constant if not the sun? And deeper than that is the desire to live, to breathe and be vital. And how can these needs be met in times like these? Lovingly, creatively and without pause.

Each morning the lights come on and the first order of business is cleaning. Music on, gloves on, and armed with Clorox we walk from room to room, door to door wiping down desks, counters, sinks, light switches, doorknobs, chairs, keyboards, phones and finally the coffee pot! Floors are swept while joe brews. Computers are turned on and the door is unlocked ready to welcome those in need.

The first family comes in. Mom cradling a sleeping little girl while her other two children cling to her pant legs. She stands within the blue square on the floor as asked while I look up her profile. Diapers size 2, 3, and 5. Blessed with wipies I can hand out two packs to her grateful smile. Cereal and fruit? Yes! Now for some clothes. Explaining that our boutique is temporarily closed I pick out 3 or 4 summer outfits for each of her children and fold carefully into waiting bags. Big brown eyes smile at me from behind mom’s leg as I offer little blue teddy bears that were just donated.

Another knock on the door and a masked head pokes in. Upon seeing the woman and her family the new client waits without to help us maintain the social distancing. I finish up with this young mom and she leaves inviting the other family inside and the process starts again.

Another woman comes into the center uncertainty etched on her young face. She’s hoping for a pregnancy test. She has missed her period and is just feeling off. Can we help? Her boyfriend is waiting in the car. The nurse takes her temperature and gives her a mask to wear in the consultation room. She sits down with the nurse. She’s not sure when her last cycle was but feels sure she’s pregnant. The nurse helps her with a urinary test and gives her the news. They sit together for a long while talking.

Families come and go. Several women come in alone asking for formula and one is hoping for a stroller. We all stand apart from one another smiling in hopes the welcome is felt. I help a happy father carry out a high chair and a nice exersaucer, his smile of thanks warm and genuine.

The doors and counters are wiped down again and again. Several calls asking if we are open or closed because of the virus.

The nurse finally comes out with the young girl and I am asked to set up an ultrasound 2 weeks from now. The smile is hesitant and wavering. And after she leaves the small Next Step team sit down in a larger circle to separate and pray. The young girl is happy to be with child but young and unsure. She thinks her boyfriend will be happy but what if he isn’t? So we pray. For peace and comfort for the girl and for the health of her and her unborn baby and we pray we’ll see her in two weeks for her ultrasound.

In the back we are gloved up and donation bags are unpacked and soft little onsies are sorted into piles by size. Warm sleepers are stored in winter boxes and colorful summer dresses are hung up. More coffee is made as envelopes are stickered ready for mailing. Thank you cards are written and plans are made.

The day starts to wane and we do final wipe downs of the office. We close the doors and say our goodbyes. A lot of families were helped today. A lot of smiles were seen. I feel good about our day. It was a good one despite the ever changing landscape outside. We’ll do it all again tomorrow and feel blessed at what our ministry brings to the community and to our own lives.

My Mom

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”

From The Complete Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh
by A.A. Milne.

When I was roughly 10 years old one of the neighborhood moms called to me from her driveway as I meandered up and down the cracked sidewalk in front of our house in Kent. I was uncharacteristically on my own that day rather than trailing my older brother around or stealing off into the woods with the other neighborhood kids as was a typical afternoon for me.

I reluctantly stopped and leaned on my old red bike at the foot of her drive. I did not care for her. For some unexplainable reason she had always made me feel anxious and wary. She had three kids. One was a boy a little older then myself and the other two were girls a bit younger than I. We played together on occasion coming together naturally as neighborhood kids do on those long Summer days when everyone is outside until the street lights come on (mind you this was the 80s). Though I cannot say we were friends. Just kids in the same proximity and both with the same need for someone else to make the game or make-believe venture more fun.

That day though I was alone and stood warily waiting to see what – we’ll call her Mrs. Gunn – wanted. What she said was this, “Hey you. You aren’t allowed over here anymore. I’ve had three kids come to me to tell me you are using the “Eff” word. That’s despicable.” She snarled these words at me and waved me away like a fly. I remember standing stiff with shock and being annoyed that my lower lip was trembling a bit.

What? The “Eff” word? That was the biggie. I knew what it was because I’d heard my father often uttering a colorful string of words that included this one in the driveway under the car or in his shop. But I had never SAID it out loud! God would have heard me! In fact I was a rather quiet kid (at that time…) who said very little let alone the “Eff” word!

I remember finally getting back on my bike and peddling quickly away from Mrs. Gunn her wild eyed face still vivid. I tossed my bike on our driveway and galloped inside my house. My mother was in the kitchen and I went straight to her. It was then that those hot tears seeped out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I hiccupped my way through the terrible scene with Mrs. Gunn assuring her I’d never in a million billion millennia said THAT word and my mother listened with her arm around me. Now my mother was a quiet woman. Always around. Comfortable and soft. She had green eyes and curly hair. She colored with me a lot and her pages always looked so beautiful and brilliant.

After I finished telling her what had happened she patted my arm and walked to the phone hanging on the wall in the kitchen. I watched as she dialed a number and then delivered what I still remember to this day as the most awesome verbal takedown of anyone ever. Mrs. Gunn didn’t know who she was messing with. That was it. I have no idea what Mrs. Gunn said back but I know what my mom said. And her ferocity was a sight to behold.

Mrs. Gunn never said a word to me again after that day and in fact neither did her children much. I was content. Riding my red bike, playing with the other kids, and reading my books. And life moved on. But thirty-four years later I still remember how my mom had my back.

May is the month celebrating mothers. Those beautiful and gritty beings who at once are gentle and constant but also fierce and protective. Mothers will sacrifice their very selves for their children if they need to. There is nothing like the love of a mom.

”Some days she has no idea how she’ll do it. But every single day. It still gets done.” – Anonymous

In mid-April I had the privilege of “attending” the Virtual Heartbeat Conference put together by Heartbeat International – the most expansive network of pro-life pregnancy resource centers in the world. The event was to be held in Seattle which, for a small nonprofit with not a lot of funds – an absolute plus. Long story short it was scrapped – sort of. However, they decided their information was too valuable not to share. So they went virtual. And it worked. It was a fantastic experience and as a ‘first timer’ I was blown away by the sheer amount of prolife voices coming together. It was humbling. And to think I am one of them – yea.

Over the next few weeks or so I’ll try and share some of what I learned and what I hope to embed in our own center here in Lynnwood. One of the talks that made an impression I had not initially chosen to attend. And it was just chance I stumbled into the ‘workshop’. It was titled “Empowering the Single Mother” and it was presented by Shannon DeGarmo, author of a few books including “Ignite”, “Single Moms 101” and “The Bounce Back Woman”. Shannon’s talk centered on the inner workings of a single mom. What goes through their mind as they go about their day? The night? What thoughts occupy their waking and sleeping minds? How do those thoughts impact them as people and as mothers?And lastly how can we as people of faith who minister to the unborn, the unplanned, the alone – help?

I’ll start with some shared statistics that are as startling as they are heartbreaking. I looked up some as well and this hit pretty much up and down the board – these are from SingleMotherguide.com

80% of single parent homes are led by single mothers and a third of those live in poverty. That’s a big number.

4 out of 10 babies are born to unwed mothers and two thirds of those are born to moms under 30 years old.

13.9% graduated high school and 34% have a college degree. Those numbers by contrast are awfully small.

But even deeper than those numbers, for me, were the revelations about the psychological and neurological impacts on these girls.

In general, single parenting aside, only 2%-4% of women think they are beautiful and three-fourths of women with low self-esteem engage in negative behaviors.

The effects of low self-esteem are far-reaching and hard to break free from. Socially withdrawn, self-neglect, not trusting themselves, and an expectation of little or no improvement in life to name a few. We know this – as women, as mothers with daughters. The consequences of low self-esteem can be devastating in so many ways. So now picture those same negative thoughts running rampant through the mind of a young single mother.

A whopping 75% of single moms scored in the mildly depressed range. What can we do? Relationships matter. What we think of ourselves matter. What we think our children think of us matters. How can we help?

There were some beautiful verses that came to mind that touched on this –

‘Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” – Matthew 10:29-31 NIV

“For I know the thought I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV

How can we live these words for those among us who are alone yet never alone? A child can fill in holes and bring light to her mother’s eyes but she is but a child demanding of her mother at all times.

The isolation of single parenting is profound. I can say that with much certainty as I was once a single parent myself. Happiness hinging on a child is an unrealistic burden. The realization you are not whole can make it hard to move forward.

You are not meant to do this on your own. We say that on our Next Step website. We are not meant to be alone. Now more than any other time in recent history has the ability to connect with others been so wholly needed and so wholly absent.

If you know a single parent – reach out.

If you are a single parent – reach out.

Peace be with you all

H Vasquez

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”― Anne Frank

On January 20^th, 2020 the United States confirmed its first case of the Coronavirus though it had actually been in our midst long before that.  On February 29^th, the United States confirms its first death and travel restrictions are set in place.

Fast forward to March 13^th, when President Trump declares a National State of Emergency. On March 15^th, the CDC recommends restrictions on gatherings over 50 people. On March 17^th, France locks down restricting arrivals and departures out of the country and on March 23^rd, Britain does the same. On March 27th, President Trump signs the $2 trillion dollar Coronavirus Stimulus bill and on March 30^th, states began enacting “Stay at Home” orders for the public.

It took just over two months for the virus (and the fear) to spread throughout our communities and grab hold placing a stranglehold on our economy, our livelihood, and our societal norms. And worse than that – the feeling that there is no end in sight continues to plague our daily lives.

So what can we do? As a society? A family? An individual? I’ll tell you – FIGHT.

In the words of one of our more recent Commanders’ in Chief:  “Pessimism never won any battle.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower (President 1953-1961).

This coming from a Supreme Allied Commander in Europe (1951-1952), Army Chief of Staff (1945-1948), Military Governor in Occupied Germany (1945). His military career spanned from 1915-1953 and more spanning two World Wars among others.

Pessimism; an inclination to emphasize adverse aspects, conditions, and possibilities or to expect the worst possible outcome. (Merriam-Webster)

In other words, without hope.

Sitting here in my little office at Next Step Pregnancy Services in the quiet afternoon, having seen a few moms come in for some essentials I wonder about Eisenhower’s sentiment and if we, or even just me, are fighting the fight or assuming the worst is yet to come. And I am happy to report – it is the latter.

From the donations coming in, to the tiny staff still opening our doors, to the letter my daughter wrote to a checker at our local grocery store thanking him for his work, to the laughter and excitement each morning as our whole school gathers for our daily Zoom Prayer and Pledge, to the neighbors gathering supplies to deliver to the homebound who have no help, from the long walks in the warm afternoon light with just our tiny family of three, to the endless board games and calls to Grandma. And finally to the Sunday morning live-stream of Mass  (in our pjs) and the knowledge that our fellow Christians are all gathered around their respective devices praying together, listening together, being together for the sacredness of the Mass. I guess I could go on but I think you get it.

This is not the end. For every lousy news clip or tragic soundbite or every bout of complaining and bashing of our leaders by our leaders, for every opinion shoved in our face, TP hoarding meme, and ultimatum sent our way, for every cancelled event and every missed opportunity – I say this is not the end.

Because we are still here and still fighting and still coming up with new ways to connect with each other, to help each other, to see each other. Not in person but in the writings and pictures, the stories of helping and looking out for one another. In creative lesson plans our teachers are coming up with, to the conversations we are having with our spouses and our children, to the prayers we are saying to each other and for each other, to the rooms we are finally cleaning, to the walks we are finally taking and finally to playing in the backyard with the old badminton set from a long ago Christmas. We’re still here and we will still be here long after this has passed. And I believe we will come out of this a better people. More attuned to what’s really important in our lives. Because that’s who we are. So is this virus a blessing or a curse? For some it’s a sad, hard time especially if someone you love has been lost or is ill. And we mourn with those people. For others it’s a time to gather close together as a family, to slow down, and really see each other. Light always makes its way out of darkness. In every story, every picture, every prayer. This time will be no different.

“So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, or There and Back Again

Every day we are bombarded with online news, opinions, “studies”, and op-eds. More often than not (depending on the source) they do not always match up to what we believe to be the truth. I can read an article titled like that above and shake my head and roll my eyes because as a pregnancy center staffer, I know. But the reality is that not everyone ‘knows’ and sometimes these articles plant seeds of doubt in an otherwise reasonable common sense adult.

I recently read an article from on line spot called vox.com (a Vox Media bit). The title jumped out at me as they are wont to do so I decided to take a look. The title was “What Crisis Pregnancy Centers Really Do.” (A. North 3/2/2020) Well ok then – what is it A. North thinks we do. I dove in.

“The facilities primary mission is to dissuade women from choosing abortion.” (Katrina Kimport, associate professor at Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health). Strictly speaking that is in part our primary mission, yes. To attempt to change an abortion-vulnerable women’s mind before she makes a choice that ends the life of her child. That is no secret no matter how much they want to claim these centers are deceiving women.

“These centers, most which are religiously affiliated, typically offer services like pregnancy tests” (check), “and sometimes resources like diapers or baby clothes” (check and check) “alongside counseling with an anti-abortion message”. (semi…check). Our staff advocates and nurses do counsel women about the options they have, including abortion, adoption, and parenting as well as all the ways they can overcome whatever obstacles may be swaying their decisions. What our advocates and nurses do not do is pressure women down paths they do not want. We listen, encourage, share, and inform. We listen to their stories, their hopes, their worries about what having a baby may mean. We encourage them to talk and truly consider what lies ahead. We share our own stories of parenthood, pregnancy, abortion, and recovery. We inform them of what abortion is and entails fact by fact.

“Patients can still receive misinformation, and their practices often fall short of accepted medical standards”, (Samantha Wohlfeil, Inlander, February 13th, 2020). Contrary to what a lot of these articles claim a lot of pregnancy centers, like Next Step, do have actual qualified advocates as well as actual qualified registered nurses and RDMSs (Registered Diagnostic Medical Sonographers) who perform actual medical pregnancy tests and medically licensed, early obstetric ultrasounds. We have a medical director who reviews every medical case. Licensed non-profit medical clinics, although 501(c)3 exempt, are still legally and ethically bound to obtain licensed medical personnel, liability and medical insurance as well work with a accredited organizations such as NIFLA (National Institute of Family and Life Advocates) as an approved continuing education provider.

About the only thing in the article I could really get behind was that “centers did provide for the respondent a place where their desire to have a child was supported and encouraged.” Well, yes. Yes it is. “That’s significant because low-income women, especially women of color, are sometimes actively discouraged from having children, including by their health care providers.” (K. Kimport)

Bottom line pregnancy centers cannot take the place of full service medical centers and counselling services. These centers cannot always provide absolutely everything a growing family needs or everything a young woman facing an unplanned pregnancy needs. And that’s no secret. But what we can provide is a welcoming, non judgemental, compassionate atmosphere where women can be honest and protected, listened to and not pressured. Given the facts, questions answered, get accurate pregnancy testing, early OB ultrasounds and, medical records to prove pregnancy. Baby clothes and supplies, diapers and formula, toys, books, medical insurance assistance, housing and food bank resources, parenting information, adoption information, and – if asked – prayer.

That’s what we really do.

Questions about our client site?

Next Step’s mission is now and has always been to uphold the sanctity of all life born and unborn. With that in mind we offer ourselves and our resources to women, girls, and families facing planned and unplanned pregnancies.

To be listeners, to counsel, to provide a safe space, to share up to date and factual information on all pregnancy options including parenting, adoption and abortion. We are here to serve our clients in whatever way we can to work toward good outcomes for mother and child.

Whatever obstacles our clients face, we are here to help them work through them. With our professional medical staff we can provide a certain answer to whether or not she is pregnant. We can provide an early OB ultrasound to see his/her progress. We can provide a layette, baby clothes and supplies, formula, diapers, books and furniture. We can provide help in filling out paperwork for WIC coverage and other prenatal and further medical coverage. We can provide resources for housing, education, food, classes, and counselling. We can get her in touch with our partner Bethany Christian Adoption agency if that is the best fit.

We can be there for her and her family with compassion, patience, knowledge and encouragement. That’s Next Step.

Our Client Site is designed to share non-judgmental information and details on the free services we offer. Abortion is an option for some mothers but not one we perform, pre-screen for or refer. But we want to encourage our clients to come to us for real information and real solutions. So we can and do discuss abortion and its procedures and effects. It’s out there and can’t be ignored. We want our clients to come to us so we can share in the good news and serve. Ultimately whatever our clients decide is theirs alone and sometimes though we may give the news of a positive pregnancy test and even an ultrasound we do not know the outcomes. But the bottom line is we’re here to serve with compassion and honesty in what ways we can.

Thank you – Heather Vasquez (3/4/2020)